P2s Mind Refreshing MailBox 2026

January 2026s mind refreshing topic

Why, do you think, Males are best suited to raise, represent, and guide boys from 7 years old, on, full time!?

Letters:

Hi P2:

Let’s see if you can guess what I do for a living and what my life has been like from my comments here...

I’m sad to think about the question you pose this month. Not because I don’t think man and boy should be together, and by default of nature itself they are, but because I don’t see any way in the kind of cultural setup we now have, that we CAN. We’re looked at as “out of place” if we actually do care enough to spend personal time with a boy, and simultaneously looked at as being “bad fathers” if we spend too much time anywhere else but with the one woman we had to commit ourselves to and the house that used to be ours, and do the will that she (in her early mothering years) established. Both our culture, its maintaining legalist framework, relentless expectations, AND females’ advising (as if they are representing ALL human emotions, and as if males’ feelings are no different than hers,) that legal framework...USURP taking care of boys as if young males are nothing more than an extension of who she sees as “her children,” mostly because the females in charge... I think you call them RFF (Radical Feminist (emotional) Fascists), are somehow controlling what men come to think and do by raising our boys without men being around so much of the time as to give them any choice of their own, not even when it’s for their own nature’s innately sensed MALE help!

Even when boys WANT to live with their Dads... especially in cases of divorce... most women SPITEFULLY take over the son’s life and make it look like they are “protecting” them from the “bad man” who “let them down,” when all she is doing is using the boy as a proxy to attack the former husband she wants to attack, and misrepresents by calling herself the only one who can be “responsible” for the boy, because the husband “won’t”, but only she (supposedly) knows how to do emotionally... which is enough to make grown men cry...not only from missing their sons, but from not knowing who to blame, and feeling there is no place for real males in this kind of world at all... many just plain giving up trying to find why males are so locked out of positive lives!

Long story short, and I hope you will do this subject some justice in your reply to this letter, which I’ll be looking for til you do... I have no doubt that men and boys belong with each other, but since both our culture and women have so many other “obligations” for us, which focus us away from our own male youth, and the many relationships we could have with them if we had OUR interests represented in the legal and women’s minds who comprise that world of separation all around us, we think we have to appease the women and state, as misinformed about who we really are as males as they are, in order to get any use of our Male Eros at all! It would seem, sir, that they both have the modern male “by our balls” so to speak.

Please say something to cheer us up...

     DD... Daniel, feeling a bit depressed here!

#2

HI P2!

I’m a father of 4 (2 boys, 8 and 12; and 2 girls 13 and 6), and have been married for 14 years. I’m an auto worker who gets good pay to take my place on an assembly line, and keep things moving, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. While the company I work for has no provision for allowing any of my children to come to work with me, I have to ask you, "How could they?!"  Even if they did let me bring my 12 and 8 year old boys, I’d have concerns about their safety because I would be fully occupied (and unable to even regard or speak to them until my line stopped, and I was finished with my continuing place in keeping the line progressing). For long periods of time at a time, there is no responsible way I can bring my boys, or even communicate with them, even if their schools allowed it, unless maybe the company let them watch from a glass covered balcony above somehow. I think they would get bored without my continual interaction with them. I do believe we could all START the process of bringing our boys into our adult male lives more and more, but that it would take a lot of discussion, agreement, planning, preparations and cooperation; none of which we have at this time for my kind of job or even most kind of adult centered male activities. Self employed men might be the best place to start, and, based on their success... more employers might be convinced it can be workable.

There are some men who can easily do computer call center type work at home, and still take care of their kids, but they should be of an age where they are ready to accept an invitation to spend good chunks of time watching and learning, and focusing their minds to, even while they are at home. Yet, even that doesn’t get to the core idea I think you are trying to share here... that at a certain stage of a boy’s development, he WANTS to be with his Dad, and enjoys the company of older males, and wants to show his interest and ability to be of help to them, often because of what he can learn from them, but also because of the various benefits that sharing our male lives together, especially young and old, can give us both, emotionally as males.

My wife would laugh at the very idea of having my boys with me all the time, and I do think SHE is better equipped and suited to take care of the babies and very young children, WHILE that is the stage of development they are at, which as you mention is actually fulfilled by about age 7 if not before. So, despite the fact that our current cultural narrative has been pulled so deeply into consumerism and radical feminist wishes, I DO think you are right... I mean, my partaking in current cultural assumptive meanings has me thinking of my boys as “my wife’s children” and therefore, “her responsibility,” but the more I think about it now, the more I realize, all too frustratedly, that both my boys and I are missing something crucial between ourselves... the affirmation of our male circulatory experience and MALE feelings relating, by accepting their mothers assumptive perception that boys are somehow their mother’s "possession" ... HER “children!”

I do wish my boys and I had a much closer relationship... after all, we do share the same DNA! But more than that I also find myself attracted at times to help other boys who look up to me. (I do still coach a boy’s 5th grade basketball team from having started to with my oldest son, and found it unexpectedly rewarding) I seem attracted to help those boys in many ways that I just assume my wife has already accomplished for my own boys. I can sense the needs, wants, and desires of many of the boys on the team and am good friends with many of them. I answer questions and provide feedback about both their progress and lack of it... suggesting exercises and even pairing some with others who are already accomplished, creating close friendships for them in the process. There are a few boys from single families who see me as a father figure, and I don’t mind reacting with positive older male support for them when they reach out to me. Yet I think you are getting at even more than just that... something only the ancient cultures knew and lived together, by being active parts of their everyday lives and sharing the many feelings of life without compartmentalizing them into categories of “propriety.”

Despite the fact that my family is “normal” in the cultural sense, and both my wife and I are on good terms, my children get most of their home-centered needs met and advice given from my wife, and I just sort of act as a back up when she needs more help, or the kids need stronger supervision. I guess it’s more because they started life looking to her TO provide for all they needed, and without the expectation that I should after a certain time or level, they really are in a kind of limbo of motherly dependence. I WOULD like to take responsibility directly and personally with my boys, but there never seems to be any “right time” or place to change from what they have become quasi-comfortable with already.

I have tried to encourage my boys to come to ME more and more, as they grew, but we always “found ourselves on differing schedules” and their mother in the best position to get them off to school after I had already had breakfast and was off to work as my early schedule required. Yet, even though boys need their mothers KIND of care less and less... for everything... and more and more of the MALE kind, inversely, the older they get, society keeps on with the red flags preventing all male's closeness!  WHY P2?                    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Why not just say that, as soon as a boy is ready... somewhere between 5 and 9, that men could begin to invite boys into their lives, including bringing boys to work with them (and, in fact, make the accommodating of that in the workplace a bargaining point for whether we take a job with that employer or not) Men could even form groups sharing their experience and suggestions and share them together (we are all a community of males, we just don’t seem to relate like it in the kind of world we live in... but could). Obviously such a sharing would need the understanding and cooperation of employers everywhere, but that’s where us coming together in discussion and sharing groups with other guys and their boys would really help. And we would all have our everyday lives more in common as males, once again if we did. We need to form grass-roots organizing so we could have a political voice in our communities which would encourage businesses to make provisions for boys to be with their dads at work. But until we can organize ourselves... either online or at our churches or schools or with neighbors in our neighborhoods, I don’t think that your statement, as true as it actually is in its essential sense... would be recognized as feasible by the masses who would see it as too hard to do.

Thanks again P2, and keep up the good work you’re doing to help all males get back in touch with their genuinely MALE identities! I think you’re really ahead of our time, and look forward to the time when boys WILL start getting the BOYS RIGHTS they have lost with no one to stand up for them and truly represent their male feelings and concerns. If you can, please help the rest of us caring males figure out how to get where your mind is... give us some workable small things we can do, because if I came all out in support of your idea, as good as it sounds, I suspect it would bring more derision to my family and I than approval and encouragement.

                             BBC (Barry (an extracurricular) Basketball Coach), seeking societal understanding

Plato the Second's reply:

#2

Hi Barry. Thanks for your thoughts on this critical boy issue. Please consider the reply I gave Danny D, above, as relevant to your concerns, simultaneously, as well. I hope you will be able to adjust your nick name, to make all boys you feel a personality complementation for and with, part of your LIFE team! See if my suggestion at the bottom of this page, might ring true for you!

To answer your question (letter column) : Society has not  recognized the difference between the kind of loving feelings life gives women to keep new life alive (shielding FROM the outside world) to the kind of loving feelings life gives Males to relate, connect, and extend humanity all over (connective TO the outside world).

          I do believe regardless of culture's dismissing of male love, that life MADE us as males to genuinely care about younger males growth and development... something that no one else seems to realize how much sense it would make to let boys spend AT LEAST a half a day with older males every day, like we used to from time immemorial before the current social order  narrative took over.

           As you alluded to, Boys and men seem to have meant more to each other in the past, yet after all that time since, Fathering today has deteriorated to  just being a matter of steering EITHER boys or girls into the societal pathway of expectations, by helping them obey their mothers at home, or (usually) female teachers at school, as they explore their (multiple choice type) options there.  Note here that "molesting" usually means departing from society's intended path, not hurting per se, even in court, though most people think it means hurting a helpless "child."

       Boys NEED someone who understands who they are, what they think and how they feel, but all they get is direction from women with a different instinct for different stages of life support, and different interests, than boys of 7, on, often making them even more perplexed, or causing them to make mistaken choices which end up working against their own MALE welfare which process is actually not only MOLESTING the path which LIFE designed boys to follow, with older males in sync with their instinct and feeling for them, but TAMPERING with the balance of life itself to the point of making people see others in our human family more as "strangers" than friends we haven't met yet!

BBC (Barry the Boy Coach) for MALE life nature, seeking a societal place to develop our male fuller GOOD MALE nature, not ignore it any more!   See scene depicted (Feb) for normal BBC relating!

Dear Friend Danny:

Thank you for being so poignantly honest. It’s most probably where we have to start to make the Truth of the statement for this month’s mind-refreshing mailbox topic more apparent. I had hoped to receive more letters from men and boys who were already happily involved in each others lives, but I guess I might have been a bit ahead of the time I am trying to speak to and for. This is something most of us feel inside, but have lost touch with, diverted by other’s interests for us, and, as you pointed out, overwhelmed by women who raise boys to spite and belittle us, and blame us for not taking better care of boys (tacitly females themselves), when it is THEY who are making it impossible for us to do so! (though most women probably don't understand how!)

       The philosophical problem to unravel here, and  may take philosophical minds to appreciate, is that on the one hand the human male has a whole emotional MALE range of dynamic and polarity reactions, from the most tender to the most aggressive, but has only been specialized to use the negative side of.  Fighter, Enforcer, "Winner," Disciplinarian, Conqueror... they all depend on the negative reward system of adrenaline rush, with an "obey or be punished" finality, which could be described as the male DARK SIDE. Imagine movies like the original Star Wars.  Luke Skywalker  had a good heart, but the world he found himself near destroyed by, required him to attack an enemy he eventually found out to be his very (unknown) father.  That father only knew the negative side.  Luke knew both sides, but became trapped in reacting to the violence that those on the Dark side thought of as giving meaning to their loveless lives.  That some women mistakenly have only experienced the Dark Side of male emotions, and the negative side of "sexuality" has led them to suspect ANY male intimacy... and, once  they have the power of millions of women  behind them, as the RFF have for the last 50 years, they treat ALL males as if every loving thing we try to do (outside of one woman we are told we must marry to get permission at all) can only be negative in meaning.  

     If boys are trapped in reacting to what is to them a loveless Male existence, then they only learn and practice the negative side of their feelings, and never learn the loving side which requires their Phase II, Male Nature Nurturing genuine intimacy to fathom and live from.  But, sadly, even when some boys manage to extricate themselves FROM the expectations of negativity all around them, they cannot receive support, let alone transmit the loving patterns and feelings, meanings and expectations that the POSITIVE polaritied male is trying to live and share, without being misunderstood as trying to overpower. 

          Hence the good of loving older males who DO reach out to share their lives, personally, with boys of all ages as part of their WHOLE-Y male identity, is immediately MISinterpreted as a "red flag" which may indeed identify the path of a NEGATIVELY specialized male, but not only ignores the different meaning of the same touching behavior when it's in a positive emotional dynamic polarity, but teaches her children and misinforms legislatures everywhere to ATTACK even YOU, Danny, because they see your Male Eros as having no place but reproductive function, and thus PREVENTS boys from even knowing, let alone experiencing How MALE Nature Nurturing Eros appreciation in a Holy Spirit CHANGES Male polarity of emotional expression and meaning to positive and desirable.

Now, to intuit your challenge, my friend... I would guess you are a factory worker by career, a former family man with at least one son, but now divorced and without custody of your boy. A boy who wanted to come with you, but wasn’t given legal support to, and now grows further and further away from you, only hearing his mothers feelings on the subject, and without the balance of a happy life with you he could have had, because his mom took over his whole life, forced the law to support her with half-truth reasons, and left you without any contact with boys... in a dystopian emotional world in which you do as you are told, or end up being called, and feeling like, a “loser.” So much so that you probably have given up relating to your biological son, and regret the day you ever got married... causing you to give up women and ignore boys.

      Another movie you should watch, Danny,  is "The Tender Bar",  a movie not only covered as Movie Munication #7 in The MALE Solution to the CMD*..., but offered on Amazon Prime TV.  If you fathom it deeply enough, as the MNN relevancy notes in V1B1 leads you to uncovering, you will see a very similar circumstance to the one you mention about spiteful women, and the way they manipulate boys to prevent them from even seeing that their DNA father DOES love them, because she is so busy trying to prove that his behavior is the most unloving thing she has ever seen as a female (but not understanding that male love is not designed for the mission that females have)... not only is preventing the boy from realizing he WAS loved by the Father, as the male youth he was, in male freedom, but thus causing him to give up on his Father as his mother's constant innuendo against him portrayed, without ever being allowed close enough to him to understand how MALE feelings need to be understood not blindly demonized; leading to his taking sides against him. All while the Father, robbed of any loving feelings by the women in his life, lashes out at a current wife who doesn't deserve his wrath, in an equal dose of misunderstanding what love means in its FEMALE design and mission. Thus the son assumes, once he sees it, to be what his Mother made his Father seem to be,  turning him into the despicable person he wasn't, before she manipulated the boy to not only see her view of his Father, but to make it "come true!" ...

    Please understand that we could actually be undergoing an evolutionary contingency that needs to be worked out, worldwide, because of females getting the power they have today, sooner than they could see the whole male identity, and thus needing to be understood more fully BEFORE the truly Platonically Male Eros sharing MNN relationships I am alluding to, can be recognized as the friendly and controllable Phase II, which boys need to be loving males themselves, but our current cultures and narratives haven't even recognized as existing yet... it's inside us, dormant and waiting to be recognized and reacted with... Which may indeed be why the wheat of positive polaritied males who reach out to help boys be a real part of their everyday lives, gets mistaken for negatively polaritied males just trying to overpower them, like they do everyone else... to get adrenaline rush feeling to replace the loving feelings they have been deprived of developing. I Invite those males who would like to make this a better world, emotionally, for males of all ages to live together in, and those who have some ideas on just what steps they think we need to take, and how to go about sharing this unfulfilled Male destiny, to come back with me... yes in my books, of course, but here too with some writings of yours, dear readers, on how YOU think we can support our own GOOD Male Instinct, it’s GOOD MALE Eros enhancing of affection based real love, and helping create a society that can see the whole range of both Male and female emotional responses to the emotional environments we find ourselves in. And thus, what we need to do to help create such a socially understood humane Male Nature including, narrative and expectations, from which men can once again share their lives, in real time with boys, hungry to belong to the community of GOOD Males, and prove their value, as male.

I further  invite you to begin by considering just what life was like... when we could be our own male selves... as I have, by going back to Plato himself, and working to realize how men and boys related when there was no state or women to interfere. Our natural Male lives and reactions, able to express themselves in empathetic sync, with each other.

This is not to say that culture today is unnatural, but it is to say that there are may ways culture and civilization itself can be programed. History shows that no one group ever stays in “power” very long, historically speaking. We can thank cultures for many of the technological advancements we enjoy today, but we need to understand that the current organization or “order” we are living, needs to refine itself, and our social narrative, by going back to see just where it diverged from letting men and boys be themselves, to power the social engine by his positively felt circulatory benefit, than shutting that down to accommodate female stationary comfort, instead. And even that said, there should always be a place for women too, but males need to better understand  that when women become so consumed with themselves (See “Alexander”) that women are a slave to their passions, that no matter what the environment around them, women will ALWAYS put themselves, by the nature of their very female instinct and motivation to invite new life and help it survive,  ahead of us, FROM HER mission.

Probably the very first step is to help each other as males realize what we are missing, as a result,  then help our culture understand too, so that we can refine the social narrative that relentlessly forms and shapes our minds and potentials before we even get a chance to think about them, otherwise, ourselves! Male identity is CIRCULATORY, NOT aggressive. But tied to the kind of reaction expected of us. Still, the more Platonically Eros filled friendly and loving an environment we can help create, in boys, the more platonically Eros filled friendly and loving will our humanity be.

The WHY(of Jan's topic)is that the child is the father of the man (in our case, the boy's raising, the precursor to who the man he becomes, IS)

The HOW to begin, for those who BELIEVE in  the GOOD of Holy Spirit guided MALE Eros affection based Phase II MNN, despite current appearances to the contrary, is what we will make our FEB monthly letter topic to discuss.

A better Male Optimizaton of our Male experience of Life is on the horizon, with a new narrative that includes our HONEST MALE feelings this time! ...

.. But If we males don't work to build a better MALE experience of life for ourselves NOW, who else will? ... THIS may be our last chance for quite a while! Once AI starts looking to females for emotional definitions, instead of us too, the bias of their Female instinct feelings, well intentioned or not, will drown ours, and our real interests, with them   ... Ad Infinitum ...

Sincerely...

Plato, The Second

February 2026s mind refreshing topic

HOW can boys choose to let older Males begin raising, representing, and guiding them from @7, meaningfully, again?!?

Hi P2!

Thanks a lot for giving me the opportunity to share the way my boy and I are able to relate to one another. My name is Jerry, and my boy, Jerry Jr., who is now ten, has been helping me in my basement and garage woodworking rooms since he was 5. I am a Carpenter by trade, and spend many of my days at construction sites where I do both rough framing and custom built ins for new home developers.

At home, I’m always involved in using my skills to make our home more homey and convenient for us all. Window seats, book case walls, some complete with built in counters and slow close doors, moldings galore, and even decking outside in the back. We routinely repair and even do painting jobs around the house and garage, together. Ever since Jerry Jr. Was about 3 he would toddle over to watch me, and after first picking him up to help establish and keep our father-son bond as mutual warmth and friendship together, and cautioning him about sharp edges and such, I would always invite him to see my tools, and watch how I use them... early on I gave him play sets of his own, with plastic or rubbery replicas, just to get the idea of how they work, first. As you might imagine he was really proud to not only use but even have them, and he took pride in taking good care of them as I showed him how to, and updated them with better tools and more trust and  responsibility as he grew.

Gradually I have helped JJ try working on projects with me, at first simply by knowing the names of tools I use, and where they are, so he can either retrieve them or put them back for me... helping him see the value not only of keeping a neat work place and surfaces, but understanding that you need room to work and how clutter leads to compromised effectiveness and even having to do things over again sometimes. At ten or so, now, JJ can actually put small frames and even sturdy bookcases and benches together. He know how to apply an appropriate amount of sealant, depending on the amount of tightness needed, and then nail them, carefully, with the nail gun, or tap (or even drill, recently) a smaller dimension hole before hammering a wider dimension nail or screw into it. He has recently also started to use some of my power tools, and knows which ones I have qualified him to be able to use safely. Neither one of us wants to injure or hurt our bodies by mistake, but know the number to call and what to do, if injury does occur. It’s an important part of life and becoming independent.

Jerry Junior and I have watched many a video together, sitting on our comfy oversized lazy-boy recliner, which gives him not only a better idea of how to do things right the first time, (and enjoy our closeness together) but how NOT to make the mistakes many do, or what they may lead to, if he doesn’t take the time, and so not to repeat them himself. We continue to enjoy our closeness as natural affection, and feel good just being with each other. And we smile and joke with each other as we work... a lot! We also watch many home improvement shows and our common interest gives us a REAL sense of relevance in each other’s lives. I go to his school regularly as well, and my wife knows that in our house, all she has to really watch out for is his sister, because she knows JJ and I are such good and meaningful friends that I take care of basically all his needs, unless I’m not home and she remains the trusted go-to for him. She is actually happy with the fact that our boy looks to me to help him in all things MALE, and all things that MALES like to do! She actually feels like I’m “pulling weight” many other Dads don’t, but I explain that spending as much time with Jerry Jr. as I can is NATURALLY beneficial for both of us, and not only gives us more time to be good males together, but her more time to be good females with our daughter, as well!

While I really feel lucky to be working in a profession I can share so readily with my boy, I want all the guys out there to know how good it feels to have my boy proudly explain what he’s learned from me, like he did at a recent class event in which he told everyone that his favorite friend was me! I gave a speech for him and offered to help others learn about carpentry too... and could see and feel how much the other boys respect him and feel free to talk to me, because of his appreciative attitude. Some even ask to come over so they can learn how to build things too, which, in certain circumstances I am happy to allow. Thus I have gotten to know his teachers at school from attending many parent-teacher events, and look forward to continue giving both him and his friends career info and even bringing them to visit construction sites together on weekends (as long as too much work isn't going on.) They all love helping... even if it’s just picking up the leftovers from other wood workers or dry wall installers, or cleaning windows or floors. And, I always help them set their work standards on high, by either working with them or making sure to examine and grade their work. We always keep a close distance so I can hear their calls if I have other things to do away from them, myself.

So, while at this point JJ is learning more at my home workshops with me, than me taking him to work with me at other places, we are fast approaching the day probably when he reaches 12 or so, when he will know and be able to apply simple jobs that will make him a real asset to me in my profession. Even my supervisors and many of the professionals I work with know JJ, and are comfortable with him around, and how I have helped him blend in. I know, THAT is an IDEAL situation, but all the effort JJ has put into “becoming like me” has really paid off, and put him in a position to not only be at new home sites safely, but to actually help me by being there, and learn more than I could ever just tell him verbally, by seeing first hand what goes on in the building of a home and figuring out things about the process he doesn’t even know for a fact yet... great mind building for him!

I’m not a disciplinarian, and don’t need to be. I’m not interested in controlling my boy, I never need to,  just working together in mutual respect and regard, and helping him know how to make good decisions for himself. Consequently, JJ has learned to be interested in how I feel and likes to offer looking out for me like I look out for him... he really lives the golden rule which I honor with him, and we often discuss how much better life can be when we do. I’ve NEVER had to spank him, not only because the lines of communication are so open between us from my answering all his questions as if I were in his shoes, and him knowing I will always forgive him if he makes a mistake, but by immediately forgiving him and requiring him to try to make up for any mistakes he does make, with me actually showing him how to undo or make up for it, and him thanking me for understanding him and not getting mad at unintended messes. These are real man-boy relationship building moments!

So what I hope my letter today may do for many guys reading it out there, is simply give them the idea that no matter how hard it may seem be to take your boy with you to work, you can fill the hours you do jobs at home with answering your boys questions about what you are doing, and how long it will take before he can do some of those same things too. Doing a good job with your boy at home prepares him to be ready to go with you, when you both feel he can. It’s not only worth your time, but you will find that the more you bring your boy into your own life and feelings, the more he will grow intelligent about life, and the more he will look forward to helping you; his appreciation of your time gives your activities more meaning, and will help him focus his interest and open his emotions to sharing anything else he needs help with, with you, as the person he looks to, to help him grow in his current life needs, wants, and desires, as well. So many other Dads I know don’t have this kind of close relationship with their sons, and don’t even know how much self esteem and confidence they and their boys are missing out on because of leaving everything to their mother! (Many women don't even know  what makes this possible!)

Jerry and Son, Carpenters

P2s Reply

Hi Jerry! Great to hear from the both of you! I hope you’ll think about helping your son write an essay or even a letter to me, possibly as part of a school project or assignment, about how much he’s learned helping you, and what advise he’d have for other boys who would like to just get along better with their Dads too, let alone all the benefits of learning about what work really entails, and how many men are ready to include boys in their lives if only given the expectation to be able to. I know that GOMVP would be happy to give your boy a place to either see his letter on the website or even to PDF publish an essay when it has a lot for other boys to want to read about, and wants to share it with them too! Many boys who are either bored, with “nothing to do,” or afraid of their Dads because they have never been on the same page enough with each other, or only have contact with them when he is disciplining them, would be able to use you as an example to share with their Dad too!

So, one thing your letter helps us caring older males realize, is that even if it is going to take our social narrative a long time to give boys back into older male care with those older males wise and empathetic enough to develop real Male Nature Nurturing relationships with their boys as the everyday reality it normally has been from primitive times, we can start even now, by simply treating our boys like the real, unique and growing MALE individuals they are! By understanding the value of taking the time to include your boy in your home activities, of any kind, and not seeing him as “interfering” with doing something else faster.  You’ll not only be helping your son grow, and taking your rightful place in his life, but enjoying your time together more, as the advantage of sharing a common activity together is what’s needed to provide opportunities for the two of you to share feelings and fun with each other... normalizing your maleness as enjoyable and something to share with him too!

If you look at life’s path for us as males, you will recognize not only that we are all continually growing, and don’t stay in any one stage for long, but that INDEPENDENCE is what nature is leading us to by giving us older friend attractions, starting with female Mothering for Phase I fetus, helpless baby, and very young child; 3 DIFFERENT stages and kinds of female attraction, but not ending there because those stages only comprise Phase I, and that Phase I gives way to Phase II, normally by about age 7, if not sooner.

Phase II is where the mothering kind of loving attention which shields the very young FROM the outside world, turns into Female Nature Nurturing, in which girls learn from them more and more about their own FEMALE bodies and feelings, especially before the mating urges and pheromones she will have biologically, kick in by around 12 or so. Unfortunately many women don’t understand anything but the mothering kind of entire micro-managing of a helpless creature, and the loving Female Eros feelings THAT gives them. In primitive nature only times, that usually lasts only for as long as it takes for the very young to get along by themselves, while the mother then turns her attentions to attracting (seducing) another male to begins that process all over again. And again and Again... that is until our current culture took over without paying enough attention to males part in helping boys. It overlooked many of the important transitions, and just called young people “children” until they are “adults!” So many mothers in today’s setup have never learned, themselves how to actively prepare their girls to be ready, willing and able to engage in appropriate kinds of Eros together, and be ready to delay their Mating Phase III, from the 12 or 13 year old timeframe life is giving them the ability to, biologically, to the 18 year line which our current culture requires girls to wait for before engaging in it at all.

Worse, many girls are not even given the help they need to see the normality of either Phase II Eros or Phase III mating activity, and simply assume everything like it is “dangerous” and verboten til they marry... as if girls could possibly get the experience they need to jump from “child” to “Adult” automatically at 18 without all the developmental growth help they need to be ready thru each of the many earlier phase stages they need to optimize understanding of BEFORE settling down in Phase IV! (marital agreements +)

For the sake of our own discussion here, as wise and caring older males, who have been boys ourselves and know how to help boys with their continued growing and development, we need to help mothers, and all females for that matter, understand the need boys have for older male continuing loving interest to take over from her kind. We need to explain to them that by the time their boys are around 7, her mothering, and the kind of fathering that just supports THAT, need to give way to the boys being an active part of their Phase II Male Nature Nurturing relating with older males. I call that “Passing the torch” (of the kind of loving attention a boy needs... FROM the shielding FROM the outside world kind the mother is best at giving, TO the kind of CONNECTING love TO the outside world, that both Fathers and 2nd Fathers (those who feel the inner connection with a boy and want to offer him time in their lives to learn from them too, as members of the community of males we all should be, but never seem to have been given the time to even realize, let alone support... and why all our Original Male Voices writings of all kinds are so important for ourselves and the kind of world our boys will grow into and become like, themselves) are best suited to share through the many stages and levels THAT requires!.

Like Libera, the Boy’s Choir from London sing...

Where would Jerry Jr. Be without YOU and your sincere friendship with him, Jerry Sr.?! How many boys detour out of their own development from not getting the older male care, interest, attractions and intimacy they need to be happy and healthy emotionally AS the BOY they ARE, NOW?! As you start thinking about this reality, you can also see how the boy crisis and so many of the other problems we’re working at solving here at GOMVP for boys CAN be short circuited from even happening, by helping our culture give our males BACK the genuine closeness and warmth with each other they used to get just by trying to survive in one room existences, long ago, but which our attempts at commercial progress threw out by mistake hundreds of years ago, and most assumed those promoting that kind of NEGATIVE polarity life energy dynamic narrative must be right. Wrong!

Please understand, that while many men have only had the kind of Fathers and older male connections that “broke” them, like breaking in a horse, to obey without question (negative polarity indoctrination), that life gives all boys a fuller range of male feelings to work with from day one... and that the wise and caring Male Nature Nurturer understands that if you want to help your boy BELIEVE in the goodness of life, and YOU as his Father and / or 2nd Father mentor, that it is the Golden Rule that you live with him that he will normally and naturally treat you back in kind with as well, if you make it the basis of your relating with him. I can honestly say, from the many years of working with boys every day I’ve experienced, that I can verify in no uncertain terms that boys treat you the way you treat them... be GOOD to them and they will be GOOD to you... don’t take your problems OUT ON them, (or they’ll take theirs out on You, too) but share your feelings and needs WITH them, and they will do likewise as well. You won’t need to "break" or “control” them, if you have learned how to trust them, and they know what it’s like to be given trust and how to value and keep it. Stick up for them when they do need help, and privately discuss suggestions that would have helped had they realized them, when helpful... all the things you wish an older male had discussed and practiced with you, but didn’t.

The more you bring boys into your real life and activities with you, the more your boy will feel respect and give you respect, naturally. Contrary to many outdated psychology texts, you CAN be a boy’s best friend and Father, or Guardian, too! Reach out to initiate interest both in and for your boy, or any boy you’d like to show and share genuine friendship with, as members of the community of males... and it will lead the way to his seeing the world as a friendlier place, and you as a male friend, no matter what your age... giving him the roots of a Positive Polarity Masculinity that will give him the motivation and confidence to keeping Good going in our present system, while innovatively working to vision and bring new solutions for how to be happier and more relevant as the genuine male he is, when he sees how his ideas can work better for those who want to try them out with him!

Remember, male identity is more circulatory by nature than females, and by his natural design and mission he is motivated by life to relate, connect and extend life far and wide. That he is often used when power or aggression is needed, is NOT his full and deeper true male identity, though we have much work to do to develop it... starting with boys everywhere... to help more and more males understand our true circulatory identity as reaching out in friendships of many degrees and amounts, not the all or nothing at all of either controlling others or having no interest in them at all, which many radical feminists treat us like, despite their many pledges of equality. Women need to do a whole lot more work on themselves, too, before they can actually realize man and boy BELONG together, and have their own values and interest as males, and not just aggression or violence. This may be so because many women who have become today's Radical Feminists were raised in negative polarity themselves, and never understood the differing design and mission males have can and should indeed be positive, appropriate to understanding who others are as an individual, in the positive emotional dynamic of the Golden Rule!

PS. Let’s keep the Jerry and Jerry Jr. kind of letter coming, guys ... and, from Both man and boy if possible; and another opportunity for understanding and support, by working on doing the writing together and looking to each other as the real friends you CAN be, if you just set that base of perception and response POSITIVELY, and early!

A better Male Optimizaton of our Male experience of Life is on the horizon, with a new narrative that includes our HONEST MALE feelings this time! ...

Plato, The Second

Sincerely...

.. But If we males don't work to build a better MALE experience of life for ourselves NOW, who else will? ... THIS may be our last chance for quite a while! Once AI starts looking to females for emotional definitions, instead of us too, the bias of their Female instinct feelings, well intentioned or not, will drown ours, and our real interests, with them   ... Ad Infinitum ...

MARCH: More letters from men and boys relating as real individuals... Golden Rule Style!

Dear Plato the Second:

Boys and I get along GREAT! And while I like to think it's because I treat them the way I wish I had been treated by older males when I was a boy, others simply say that since I don't have to criticize anything but the way they play the sport I coach them in, I don't have it as hard to deal with kids as they do.  What I know is that there is an inner connection I'm making to each one of them which not only many Fathers don't have for them, but neither do most of those who are designated as authorities over them.

That tells us both a couple of things.

1) That we both have a common basis in our mutual love for the sport, and

2) That we see each other as real individuals, not categories.

And there's a third most outsiders overlook as well...

3) When man and boy spend a lot of time together, we not only have a better idea of who we are as males, young and old, and who we'd like to be and be with, but share a common REALITY of life in which we comprise an important part of each other's world.  The reactions we THEN have for and from each other, rely on the amount of quality time we've spent (or didn't) WITH each other.

Thus the focus we have is on our masculinity and how we move into maturity as males, taking cues from each other... the boys looking to older males for support and understanding, and the older males who are with the boys because they want to be with them, able to feel empathy for their feelings, and a deep appreciation for the male of our species... especially the joy and freedom boys have for life... their curiosity and honesty and fun loving nature, enlivening us as we age.

When man and boy are working on something together regularly, they get to know each other, and just the actions and reactions normalize into an acceptance based on our good and flexible masculinity, not someone else's fears of what we take for granted. The good older males, coaches of sports and music and work of all kinds are actually LIFE coaches, not just authority figures. The way our culture has evolved, for all it's accomplishments and good intentions, has created a Father, who, living up to his societal roles and functions, can only come home to see his boy as his wife's possession, and find himself continually criticized for the boy not acting like the female wants him to, resulting in spankings and the generation gap widening.

The answer to why is right in front of us... males are not females, and just like girls thrive growing up with older females all around them, males thrive when raised more of the time by older males. Just like females would never think of giving their obedient girls over to manly interest in how they behave, learn, perform, and react instead of themselves. Raising boys is something males should never have allowed women to do for boys. Women's emotions, though soothing at times, is like an invisible surrounding eggshell of ever-ready shame and guilt, just waiting to raise boys as they were raised as girls... and as though there is no difference! Yes, they started out giving a fetus and helpless baby bodily help we could not, but when we try to give boys their next stage of LIFE support... MALE help for life and living and better communication of ourselves IN our interpersonal lives, we are continually corralled into women's idea of "propriety"... which has more to do with us continually accommodating the world she feels more comfortable in (Her Phase I), leaving boys without any greater idea of who a good male is, than one who accommodates her and her assumptive feelings and subsequent values... and at the expense of our own, besides! In short boys, and the men they become spend so much time following females feelings that we have little ability to know, love, or live our own!

I know you want letters from some of the boys, or older males like me to tell you about our own boyhoods and what kind of lifestyle and expectations works best for us, but I think I just told you.

I work in a Boys' High School, and am good friends with the History teacher here. He likes the atmosphere here like I do, and has explained to me how many ancient cultures simply helped girls grow up with women, and boys moving over to the community of males when he is more a boy than a child (a "child" is better defined as someone who can't exist without his mother constantly micromanaging of his life and its interpretations) in groups of their own, instead of one man and one woman in one nuclear family. Hence the term "it takes a village" takes on new meaning. Like you say in your book, and I have read a lot of it... males are CIRCULATORY and meant to spend varying amounts of time with those who need what he has learned, and the resources he has to share, and vice versa, moving on (and back too) to help him do just that.

Which means that many of the criticisms and accusations women bring on us is for not living like females are living, for reasons of their own specialized female design, dynamics, and instinct interests, which really have little more understanding of us than our daily urge to impregnate a DNA match to further our own male genes. Yet, most males are so worried about having no Eros in their lives at all (because of our current culture's preference for female emotions over our own as the center of all human emotions) that they'll do and accept everything women want, just to prevent her waving him off at night when he finally can express himself at all... in Phase III mating, as explained in the GOMVP resources.

Yes, P2, I do agree that boys should be at work more of the time with older males, but I'd go as far as to say we need to give boys the choice of living with the community of older males and back if they like.  No system is perfect, and many of the ancients seemed downright cruel... but it was because of the environment and learning how to deal with it demanded taking pain to deal with.  We have a much better world today, but are being treated by women as if men need to be more like women to be civilized, because they think its men who make a world dystopian and that it's her mission to convert us. Please explain to these women what they aren't getting about male negativity... and how to change it. 

I'll pass the invitation to write and send something in to bnauthor@gomvp.me to my whole school, as I also invite all the readers of your writings here, to do the same, and, oh yes... help boys feel the joy of writing with more and more practice... honestly... too.  We can all be writing coaches for boys... give it a try!  Thanks for your work P2!  Don't stop!

By the way... How about that Dusty May group over at U of M?!  That's good basketball coaching... and a great team of great individual males!

Charley

A better Male Optimizaton of our Male experience of Life is on the horizon, with a new narrative that includes our HONEST MALE feelings this time! ...

.. But If we males don't work to build a better MALE experience of life for ourselves NOW, who else will? ... THIS may be our last chance for quite a while! Once AI starts looking to females for emotional definitions, instead of us too, the bias of their Female instinct feelings, well intentioned or not, will drown ours, and our real interests, with them   ... Ad Infinitum ...

Sincerely...

Plato, The Second

P2s Reply

Hi Charley! Thanks for writing! I second your invitation for boys to write in and older males to help them do it! I'd like to hear from boys of all ages and interests and what they do and don't like about the world around them.  What they'd like to do if THEY had the choice.  And of course what all the great Music Coaches, and Spiritual coaches, building coaches and Thinking coaches, Sports coaches and Outdoors coaches; in short, what all of you genuine Male Life coaches (Phase II, Male Nature Nurturers) of all kinds out there wanted when YOU were boys too!  Think back... it's all there in the depths of your memories and subconscious, you just need some peace to help your mind find it.

     Philosophically speaking, boys DO become more and more like those they are living with. As a wise doctor I once knew told me... "Boys are like living stem cells... they become like whoever feeds them" The assumption that boys will be boys, no matter what, is only half right.  Yes, they have the life resources... but if they find themselves in a challenging environment they have to adapt to, then they become more like that environment than able to develop their full male resources to respond more than that world's demands. Hence the struggle to maintain the Good life put inside you to feel and share, with a world determined to prevent you from even seeing let alone choosing it. Today, Radical Feminist expectations and invalid laws are making the experience of males everywhere seem emotionally Dystopian.  Infinity is a large place, and as good as life is, and as much as it wants us all to enjoy and appreciate its many blessings, It gives Eros to the good and bad alike to keep our species making as many babies as possible, and we have all too many examples of seeing how boys Eros grows negatively when they're forced to live someone else's directives, enforced with disregard or punishments, or emaciated out of their own male life feelings of joy for life and each other... many grow to be just like the oppressors who turned their emotional experience of life negative before they were able to choose anything else as boys... 

        For example, Many of the good people in Europe, looking for ways their boys could avoid growing up like Hitler, tried for a time back in the 70s to help boys grow in positive care for each other more than negative fear / attack of other's differences.  They thought that letting men and boys be as close to each other as they were both ready to appreciate and able to make each other happier and more caring of each other and life around them as possible, would help them treat others more as friends they hadn't met yet, than enemies to fear and loathe.  Their movement got nipped in the bud by out of context interpretations suffocating their attempt at believing in the GOOD, by using "old wineskin" fear mongering and shame to end that experiment.

      If you were to ask me just why men have never stood up to represent our boys ourselves, let me share some of the deep research my future books will help us all understand... how our current thought got to where it is now... it wasn't in the Universal (Essential) Truth of life creation (but in the artificiality of cultural roles and functions turned to controller of our expectations rather than our servant) [What Jesus may have really meant when he said "the law is made for man... man is NOT made for the law!"] But its up to us to not only make GOOD law, but law that includes male feelings, both men and boys', not just females'! both the male and female have an entire range of sensitivity and sensuality.  Cultures originally turned us into divisions of labor by sex in order to organize us as a team against the hungry animals who saw us as a meal, and had sharper claws, bigger teeth, faster legs, and on and on.  I call this Cultural Survival Tactic "The Great Bifurcation," because it started us on the road to giving women ALL the sensitive quality activities to specialize as if that's all Females could be and men ALL the Aggressive ones, as if that 's all males could be.  It made sense at the time, but mistakenly assumed it wouldn't change who we were in that process.  Unfortunately it worked so "well" that once we conquered the animals, we started having to conquer each other to feel the negative energy realm that put the males into, locking us out of our Male sensitivity development. 

          While the whole story will take a full length feature article or section in one of my books,  I'll fast forward to the AHA of it all... Males have been specialized so well and so long and so intimidated and extorted out of seeing it any other way, that males have BECOME the NEGATIVE emotional side of his fuller Male Sensitive and Male sensual range of perceiving and reacting.  [Again, what Jesus realized had to be dealt with, at a crux of our civilizational foundations, and worked on to help us see that we had to have the "eyes" to see the Kingdom (positive polarity) and would have to be REBORN to re experience life in positive terms to experience the way we needed to see ourselves and world grow Golden Rule positive, and the Kingdom he was talking about...]

          Why our current generation of males couldn't even see what he was losing, going on all around them, has to do with the very cultural survival tactic that caused the Great Bifurcation to change our perceptions of who males and females are, from a full range of positive and negative according to the different design, mission and instinct within us each for life to keep on keeping on... eternally.  Thus the sensitivity and tenderness women give us are not only worked with and given to girls who do the same, resulting in more and more degrees of sensitivity development, but in the FEMALE VERSION ONLY.  While males, conversely, have NO Male Sensitivity and sensuality training, and so mistakenly think that sensitivity is something Feminine because of never having learned how to understand and live our own MALE sensitivity and Male sensuality! We are in a kind of evolutionary speed bump, in which we can't progress emotionally without slowing down and looking at our own lives first.  We have to raise our minds OUT of the "cultural tunnel" which makes us think that males can only be "manly" if they are "strong," by practicing insensitivity to support women's "tenderness." Such a male identity CREATES the very kind of men who live by negative energy from having lost touch with their positive polarity Eros experience of life and each other.

        Deep territory, indeed... and why getting into the writings and sharing your own, especially right here at GOMVP will help us uncover why we have so much conflict and war in what could otherwise be the most enjoyably technologically advanced time humanity has ever known. Yet, without our understanding just how we are being emotionally pulled down into negative polarity emotions, by a paranoia of "sexual abuse" so amorphous and blind, and conflated with mindless overpowerments that it prevents boys from getting the genuine older MALE love they need to STAY positive, and base themselves on, and value ourselves and each other  in, Golden Rule PEACE. Underneath even the most technologically advanced world we have built, our unresolved misunderstandings and unnecessary fears of each other have become our own worst enemy, turning our technological conveniences into an illusion of contentment,  destined to crumble if we don't learn how to love one another... for real... FIRST... and that takes learning how we help our next generation to feel and be at one with each other, and help those who don't feel love from non-inclusions of many kinds, get enough to at least stay on the right polarity track.  (Please read the Movie-Munications description of "Forbidden Planet" in V1B1 for the MNN connection.) AND... watch this clip of the Original 1956 Classic Sci Fi movie itself.

         Well Charley... look at the inspiration your letter opened up! I do like your three points and the logic you share. Great insights! I'm sure many men would be happy to share more of their lives with boys, circulatorily throughout all humanity, as the genuine FATHERING life created in them, but we lost track of in our product over people prioritized evolving, so far.  Further, you bring up a very relevant observation... that our past cultures used to raise boys in a community of males, and helped them grow in true masculine normality as a result.  So, even more than finding ways to help boys join men at the work place every day, and assimilate male values all day long (like girls assimilate FEMALE values all day long, and is the real reason they do better on many educational tests than boys do) we need to give boys the opportunity to live in communities of males for varying lengths of time as well.  Thanks so much for your interest, and support in helping us KEEP our current societal advances, while simultaneously helping females deal with their unnecessary fear of us and our GOOD, SELF regulatable, Male Eros.  The boy is the father of the man, so helping the male of our species regain his MALE sensitivity and MALE sensuality, which is shaped and formed in heartfelt appreciation, both given and received, from the earliest ages, holds the key to keeping our societies fluid and positive (like blood in the circulatory system of our bodies or oil in the machinery of an engine, keeping both "healthy.")

Surprise! (not an April joke)... Anyone sending the correct name and April birthday of the man who sincerely gave his life to helping boys experience a better boyhood, and received boys' love back in return along with a whole community of supporters, only for values judgement accusations of his heartfelt work by those not in a position to understand it brought the happy valley he helped create to an end; a man who would be 151 years old were he still alive today... to the GOMVP email address below... will get a free PDF download of ...

The MALE Solution to the CMD* (a $17.50 value in money's metrics, but priceless to the essential Truth-seeking inquiring mind!)

I don't just want boys to write (a good goal by itself) but to honestly share with us what THEY want their boyhoods to be like, so they can actively work with us older males to envision and WRITE the NEW NARRATIVE that INCLUDES them too, and ALL MALE interests and feelings THIS TIME... All males regarded, young and old.

     It's up to US... older males to Represent Boys genuine male feelings, because women have never been a boy, and don't know how to.

Somewhere in the 1960's women began doing more than just working to get and keep a vote (something that took them from the 1850s to 1920 to accomplish) and had so numbed our male minds to accept their directives automatically, that they continued on to re-writing the entire social narrative in their own image and likeness. Abortion became "good", and male loving feelings, especially with boys, became "bad!" Now, I'm all for giving both sexes lots of choices, but not when one sex does so at the expense of the other's... as Warren Farrell explains in The Boy Crisis ... "When one sex wins, both sexes lose!"

When I see the picture, above, I think of the Garden of Eden vision, and just how, in theory, humanity messed up the freedom we had to love life by fearing it instead (Yes... the Original, Original sin). Raise your consciousness with me and you can see how we still have ourselves locked out by BELIEVING more in possible evil than BELIEVING in our own Life Created MALE affection based Eros feelings and inner direction. The key is  being taught how to by the wiser around us (MNN... Male nature nurturing).

BONUS! ...

April and May:

How anyone who is, or ever was a boy, would like boyhood to be like...

How do you feel about boyhood and what we can do to improve the experience of boyhood towards the more genuinely male appreciating experience that would help us create a better world.

If I ruled the world...

P2s Mind Refreshing MailBox 2026